Show must go on...

I lie awake....
questons that bombard my mind... my heart still in a state of recovery....
how do I go on? how can i go on? how dare I go on?
My life is like a face of a woman in the morning before all the make up, the cleansing routines, Clinique, MAC the works... She feels bare, naked wouldn't dare walk out the door and be seen by people because she thinks they will laugh at her, judge her or something!
Meanwhile she is a masterpiece, artwork, creative by GOD, the best yet....
I feel like I've forgotten my lines, don't have the script anymore, no props, no wardrobe... but the audience is there, they are out there, watching, waiting, anticipating my next role (for you're only as good as your last performance), what will she be like they say? will she be better than in that play? what if she's lost it? Ohh but her last performance was very mediocre.....
all in all... SHOW MUST GO ON.... Make up, lights, camera, action....
Curtains will open whether I like it or not... it's time... put a smile on your face, go out there and do it one more time... They love you after all (or am I fooling myself? after all we are all actors deep inside), maybe they pretend with me you see... I'm not like them, cant act like them, cant behave like them...
I'm just a crazy loner trying to make it in a world full of sane people..