Jozi Traffic

Jozi Traffic has become so unbearable...

So here i was this morning, for the umpteenth time driving on the M1 and thinking to myself and swearing (yes traffic sort of does that to me).. when the car infront keeps on hitting the breaks every 5 seconds, it pushes my my high blood to another level...
"One never gets used to this", after all these years I should be used to this, but I'm not.
and so.. it got me thinking...

I don't think the solution to Our problem is to have more tollgates on the road, what that is going to create is more debt and more people using their credit cards to pay off totally unnecessary debt and still have a lot of cars. because the way I see it, if we had a choice we would not be driving... really, I don't think that we all willingly want to be stuck in traffic, to tell the truth there's a lot of us who would rather not drive at all and be driven to and from work...

maybe Our Government can concentrate on fixing our transport system first and then see what happens...
If we really had an infrastructure like Europe, London we would not need to buy cars. a car has become a necessity, it isn't a luxury.. we use them because there is no way I'm going to be in 4 taxis in the morning and have the taxi driver as rude as ever and stand in a queue at the Noord taxi rank that meanders all the way to the street, and by the time I'm in the front, I'm late for work...

so increasing cost to travel isn't going to change anything if not the price of rice in China...
cost of living has become ridiculously expensive in Johannesburg, over and above the tollgates, petrol price keeps on going up, car parts need to be replaced... you know there is a lot of things... a car is like a baby...
I guess at the end of the day, who looks out for us, who has our best interest at heart?

In my state of frustration and at the realization that my salary will stay the same while my cost of living goes up, I have to wonder what we as society can do to protect ourselves, to intervene and have a say, after all we are the ones that will have to pay at in the end.. where exactly do you get a "thousand rand extra" to pay for tollgates, a cost that I classify as "unnecessary"...

I just had to voice my opinion, because I'm truly frustrated.. .I don't see a way out, just more problems...

To be continued....

Crime

Soo much crime in this world, we read about all kinds of crime...
How can we not live in fear?
Crimes of passion - Dewani case, how do you really kill someone you love. crimes of recklessness - Jub Jub case, even though you didn't know what was going to happen, they still died, their families will forever relieve that horror. Crimes of hate - burning people because they are not local citizens, really? wait till you're the foreigner in their country; how would you like to be treated?
crimes that don't make sense - a person dying for a car, a wallet, or nothing at all, someone was high and decided to be trigger happy...
Damn i hate the person who created a gun, but then again other methods would have been soon discovered...
We live in these cages, emotional and spiritual prison..
Why do we live like this, poverty, rape, abuse.. the list goes on...
I die a million deaths everytime I see or hear of such things...
This world is not for people like ME, this world is full of hate... its too cruel..
cant take it anymore...
But what do we do? How do we make it right? Are we heading for some kind of Epic disaster, are we as "the human race" self destructive???
All the same... We fight every single day, whether you're awake or asleep, you're still fighting, there's no rest...
What about all of those who lost family members, loved ones through all kinds of ways... Are we really expected to just pick up the pieces and move on? act like nothing happened, like they were never there? no! I'm sorry.
I die over and over when I read about all these crimes.

I die over and over...

This door is closed for good...

Before I leave and walk away...
Before I open the door and leave for good...
I want you to know I always loved you, I cared...
Wish i could stay but the load has become to heavy to carry...
It's become too unbearable, I love you it is no joke...
For real, I'm serious, for you this is one of those things, for you its just another thrill, another conquest... just an affair, a trophy that stands high up there with the others... "been there, done that.. "
I've gone and lost myself too, gone and changed everything, silenced my conscience for you because i thought that was the best thing to do in that situation...
You didn't care then, you don't care now...
You're not the one who's lost, I did. lost my heart, lost myself, lost my mind, lost my conscience...
it is not worth it anymore, I'm tired... i cant carry it anymore...
and before i forget where i started.. I'm opening the door, taking my bag and my stuff, I'm leaving boo, I'm gone for good...
Take a good look at me, take a picture if you will because this is the last time you see this pretty face.. She is walking away...
She has become Her own person now... Like an ugly duckling morphing into a swan...
Keys in my hand, I'll slide them under the door, no need to get up...
I'm shutting the door for good, never to be opened..

throwing in the towel

I’ve been through a lot of things in my life…
Did it all, and thought can’t get any worse…
Thought I had it all figured out, Life that is…
I thought that if I did things my way, I will be ok….
I’ve soon come to realize that it doesn’t matter what you do or how good you think you are doing….
Sometimes, just sometimes Life comes and fucks things over… just when you think you’re OK, it comes and throws more stuff to confuse you and make things unbearable…
Truth is... I’m tired; I just can’t do this anymore… Life is like a schizophrenic freak, which can never make up His mind…
I can’t go on shielding blows, and with every blow I sink lower and lower…
I’m doing things I never thought I’d do, things I use to judge other people for and now its me….
I guess “in the same you will be judged” was no lie…
Save me from myself, end my misery, because I think I have had enough… can’t go on chasing papers anymore…
Life you’re a liar, promised if I stay positive and do things right, I would be successful, you lied…
Said if I keep at it, one day I will get there…. You lied.
My whole life I’ve tried the whole “be good and good will come to you”… I just can’t anymore…
If the law of Karma really works then I must have been really bad my past lifetime, I must have been despicable…
I just can’t I’m tired… I’m ready to throw in the towel…

Forbidden Fruit..

So many times I've fallen for these "bad boy" type of guys...
Cute face, irresistible smile, sexy eyes and a bod to die for...

But what do you do when the one time you don't want to fall, you do...
You know He ain't yours, you know He's taken but you just cant help, cant stay away...

In a past life He was your soulmate or maybe its in the coming life.. what do you do when the one thing you've been searching for your whole life is there, you find it in this one person... "The Connection"! You connect on all kinds of levels, all kinds of ways...

What do you do, do you fight or do you walk away? Do you follow your heart or do you listen to your mind and walk away?

I pose this question because my heart seems to be entangled to someone who can never be mine.. Mind says walk away, Heart says stay...

What would you do in my situation?