All in a days work

I don't know what to call the day i had today... but i was in tears most of the time. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, Today I felt myself dying, literally.. felt the soul leave the body, a part of Me died. in that moment i left to come back not the same... Never in my life had i felt such pain, such stress, thought all of this was gone, thought i had left it all behind, but in true life style, lessons come and go only to go and come back... So many thoughts crossed my mind, what if I won the Lottery? What if I quit and became "umahlalela" wase Lok'shini? surely anything is better than this... What if i left work, got me a sugar daddy, atleast that would be easy money right? wrong... there is something about the kind of person I am, that no matter how tough a situation, I don't let go easily... God promised and I think it is only right, He should keep His promise... So even when the day's events have brought Me to my knees... I have no choice but to believe and trust... have no choice but to hold on and hope that tomorrow will be okay... For now I try my hardest to forget the events of the day, pretend everything is okay when it isn't in the hope that the Universe responds to positivity! isn't that what the "Experts" say? speak positive words into your life and the outcome will be positive... I don't know, had my fair share of problems... Think I could use a break... for now i have no choice, but to go and face the music.... Once again..